#IT’S A HOGWARTS AU WHERE EVERYONE HAS TO TAKE MUGGLE STUDIES FIRST YEAR TO LEARN ABOUT ACCEPTANCE AND SOMETIMES THEY TAKE BREAKS AND COLOR AND STUFF AND DRACO IS /BORED/ BECAUSE THEY DON’T MOVE AND WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS A /CRAYOLA/? AND THEN HE DRAWS HIS FAMILY EXCEPT THEY ALL KIND OF LOOK LIKE BLOND BOBS AND SOMEONE (HARRY) TELLS HIM THAT HE’S NOT COLORING INSIDE HIS LINES CORRECTLY AND DRACO GLARES AT HIM AND SAYS THAT ACTUALLY /SCARFACE/ HE DOES NOT TAKE /ORDERS/ FROM /LINES/ AND HARRY SAYS ‘BUT THAT’S THE RULE’ AND DRACO SNEERS /JUST WAIT TIL MY FATHER HEARS ABOUT THIS THEN WE’LL SEE HOW IMPORTANT YOUR BLOODY LINES ARE/
#picturing little draco imperiously shouting WHAT IS A CRAYOLA and harry quickly is like crayola’s terrible here use roseart instead and dean thomas hides a grin and draco throws his box of crayons at harry’s head and says DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO but he picks up a roseart crayon because it’s time to get started on his pièce de résistance which he calls ‘die potter die’ and features no less than seventeen ways in which he’d like harry to meet his end one of which involves hary tripping over his own feet into a vat of acid except roseart is shit everyone knows that WHAT IS THIS draco howls indignantly PROFESSOR POTTER IS TRYING TO SABOTAGE MY MASTERPIECE TELL HIM TO GIVE ME THE CRAYOLA and harry’s like fine malfoy look we can share and draco’s like I DON’T THINK SO POTTER YOU’VE ALREADY TRIED TO SABOTAGE ME ONCE I CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOUR DEVILISH WILES
#THE POTTER CHILD IS EVERYTHING YOU SAID HE WOULD BE AND WORSE FATHER WAX CRAYONS I TELL YOU HE WOULD HAVE ME USE WAX CRAYONS IT’S UNTHINKABLE FATHER IT’S POSITIVELY UNACCEPTABLE DON’T YOU THINK #draco writes violently on a sheet of purple construction paper #lucius weeps when he reads it then sits in his study looking consumptive and tragic until narcissa brings him a stiff drink
roseart fucking sucks
shoutout to people working weekends and overnights and overtime, people working in hospitality and retail and food service, who are sacrificing time with their loved ones, so fuckers with weekday desk jobs get to live comfortably with the amenities we provide while simultaneously shitting all over us for not getting “real jobs”
Me flirting: So do you think Dumbledore’s over protection of Harry to the point where it harmed more than helped him stemmed from a desire to compensate for being so careless about the life of his sister and abandoning his brother when he was supposed to be the head of the family?